Some may have noticed that this report was a little late coming out - either this reporter had work to do, or more likely, he was so devastated at the carnage he was forced to watch, that it has taken him quite a while to recover!
The All Ords arrived to take on the bottom side but were without their Captain, Hurricane Hanlon who was out with Pinman's cold! We were given the new fixture just prior to the game and the collective groan from all the players at the number of games we had left didnt indicate a great deal of enthusiasm. After a short practice session, stand in captain Smithy won the toss but in a foolhardy gesture of good sportsmanship, let the opposition bat first as they were short of players. Taking the field were Doc Watson, Pinman, Smithy, Pretty Boy Webster and Serry Senior and Junior.
Doc Watson opened the bowling with a steady 0/10, with the opposition batting very sensibly and trying to hit the nets. Serry Senior was sulking in the backline as the stand-in captain had put him in the only position Serry Senior had asked not to field in. It is difficult to field up the back whilst not being able to bend (age will tell!) and so this placement will need to be watched closely (no bribes were taken for including this paid political announcement). Serry Junior bowled next and got the ball swinging, taking 2/0 and putting the opposition on the back foot. Apparently however that is where the opposition like to be, as the following over, Pinman's first, provided 0/20 including a six and a four. Pretty Boy then came out from his hiding behind the stumps to bowl a very tidy 1/0 including a catch up the back from Serry Senior (it was well above his waist!). The first pair had made a solid 30 runs but the All Ords seemed to lack fire and enthusiasm in the field.
The second pair came in to face Serry Junior's second over and steadied the ship with 0/11. Smithy came on and bowled 0/9 and the All Ords were starting to panic just a little. Serry Senior came on and was unable to bowl his usual flight (though he isnt blaming Smithy for making him bend - well, it was the only excuse he could come up with other than the shiny ball!) taking 1/10 and the opposition were really pushing the score along. Doc Watson bowled the next at a cost of 13 runs for no wicket and after 8 overs, the enemy were on 73 and looking much better than the All Ords.
As the opposition were short one player, the All Ords were able to select one player to bat again. This seemed to stop the rot a little, with Smithy bowling a fine second over taking 1/3, Pinman then bowled without much luck taking 0/9, Serry Senior a steady 1/3 and Pretty Boy finishing the innings with a nice over taking 1/4. The opposition has batted very well against some inaccurate bowling and finished on 92. The All Ords had quite a challenge on their hands. Catches and run outs were well down on previous matches and the batting would need to be good to stop the rot. On the injury front, Serry senior was limping, due to the multiple altercations his shins had with the ball as he tried to kick the ball away from the back net. He did succeed in stopping fours but not stopping bruises.
Bowling Figures: Doc 0/23, Serry Junior 2/11, Pinman 0/29, Pretty Boy 2/4, Smithy 1/12, Serry Senior 2/13
In a radical change, Serry Senior and Serry Junior were sent in to open. Parent and child will need to have backyard practice sessions to sort out their running between the wickets as the first over contained a run out and only four runs scored. The second over was a great improvement with a lot of shots hitting the side nets and fourteen runs scored with no wickets falling, Sadly, the momentum was lost as the next over saw two wickets fall for -2, including another run out. The last over, despite Serry Senior hitting a six, produced only one run, as both players tried to push the score along and thus lost wickets. The first pair had made 23 runs (Serry Senior 15, Serry Junior 8) and the All Ords were already behind schedule.
The next pair in were Pinman and Smithy, two players with very good batting averages at this stage of the season. They started brightly hitting seven off the first over without losing a wicket. The next was even better with 10 runs without loss. The third produced 1/9, including a magnificent six from Smithy and our two batting tyros were both on fire. The last over was another 15 runs without loss, including a four to the big-hitting Smithy and the pair had made an outstanding 41 runs off four overs (Smithy 23, Pinman 18) to take the All Ords to 64, needing 29 runs to win.
The last pair was Pretty Boy and the Doc, who have both batted well all season (though Pretty Boy did bat better when inebriated and was resisting all attempts by his teammates to drink quickly). The first over was a steady 0/6. The All Ords could then pick a bowler to bowl (as the opposition were one short). Their decision may in fact have been in error. After four balls of the over, we needed 13 runs with two overs and two balls to go, but this so-called "weaker" bowler proceeded to take 2 wickets off two balls and put the All Ords under pressure. We needed 19 runs off two over. A steady 0/7 off the next over meant our pair needed 12 runs off the last over. Two wickets in three balls made it almost impossible. But in a sign of what had been missing in our fielding and bowling, the guys showed immense fighting spirit given the circumstances, with both players hitting exceptional sixes off consecutive balls, and the All Ords needed 4 to win off the last ball. Doc did a good job to score two runs, and you guessed it - the All Ords had lost by one, thats right, one lousy run (for the draw, two for the win)! The last pair did well, making 27 runs (Doc 21, Pretty Boy 6) but the game had been lost with the fielding and bowling.
Man of the Match: Smithy for his great batting
Meanie of the Match: Smithy, for making Serry Senior bend!
This reporter forgot to add that he feels his job is safe since stand-in Captain Smithy, when asked what he would write as a match report said "thats easy - WE STANK!". Although some people have suggested they might prefer shorter reports!